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Name: bdogg_mcgee

From: Big D, Texas, United States

About me: The observations and musings of a transplanted Houstonian, married to the love of my life and living on the plains of North Texas.

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12.06.2005,12/06/2005 08:30:00 AM
Adventures in Anti-Depressants
For those of you who don't know, I, Bdogg Mcgee, am on the crazy pills. I kind of went off the deep end 3 years ago and thought that it would be a good idea to have some medication to counteract the fact that I was crying every 2 minutes and wanting to sleep all day.

Well, I'm doing much better now, my life is much more in order than it was back then, and I don't need them anymore. I really dislike being dependent on pills unless they're preventing me from getting preggers. :) So, I called my doctor and she prescribed half the dosage of what I was originally taking. This was a week ago.

All I gotta say is, "Woo Doggie!" I think my body has finally realized that it's no longer going to be numb to pretty much all emotion, and is fighting back with a vengeance. My brain is screaming, "BUT I LIKE NOT HAVING TO FEEL ANYTHING!" and at the moment I'm inclined to agree, and this is why:

Last night around 11:30 I woke up and was burning up--I'm the one who gets cold when it's 70 degrees outside. So, I turned on the fan and crawled back in bed, where I was assaulted by alternating bouts of freezing and frying. Then I got a pain in my stomach, right below the rib cage, and I knew I was going to die. I kept thinking, "But I'm not ready to die yet!" This went on for about an hour and I finally fell asleep.

Oh, but it doesn't stop there. I got up earlier so I could leave earlier and drop off the dry cleaning this morning. Well, I seem to have misplaced my keys, which normally would be fine except that my keyring has my passkey to get into the building. I looked around for 30 minutes, but never found them, so I had to grab my spare and head out the door. On the way to work, though, I seriously was wishing for a machine gun, because everyone was driving like TOTAL ASS. And the thing is, I know why I'm feeling this way--it's because my dosage was cut in half--but it doesn't make me feel any better when I'm letting someone in to be nice and they don't even wave thank you (I'm big on that.) So, all in all, I was late to work (well, later than I normally am, but still on time,) couldn't get into the building and had to ring someone to let me in.

Now I'm here at work, and my main focus today is to keep from exploding in anger or tears. I'm pretty sure I can pull it off, but once I get home, well, the gloves are gonna be off. I want to apologize in advance to my most understanding husband for any major demonstrations of emotion tonight. :) I love you, honey!
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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