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Name: bdogg_mcgee

From: Big D, Texas, United States

About me: The observations and musings of a transplanted Houstonian, married to the love of my life and living on the plains of North Texas.

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2.01.2006,2/01/2006 03:18:00 PM
How I Met My (Biological) Mother
This past weekend was a very memorable one for me in more ways than one. Not only did I get to meet some of the greatest Bloggers ever, I also, for the very first time, met my biological mother.

I am adopted, and have always known I was adopted. My biological mother, who was quite young when she gave birth to me, gave me up for adoption, (I'm telling the condensed version) and I was raised by the best set of parents a girl could ask for. They've always been very open about my adoption and told me that if I wanted to locate my birth mother that they would not stand in my way.

When I was about 26 I got my adoption papers from my dad (my parents divorced when I was 4) and I found the names of my birth parents. One day, on a whim, I did a search on Classmates.com for my birth mother and BAM! Her name was right in front of me. After a little detective work, I found out that she lived near San Antonio.

And then I waited.

Why, I really don't know. I don't think I was ready for it.. Adopted children hear all these horror stories of "I contacted my biological parents and they didn't want to have anything to do with me, " or just the opposite, that they wouldn't leave them alone, and that scared me. And even though my mom said she was okay with me finding my birth mother, I knew she was a little scared about the whole thing--that I would never want to be around her again, and spend all my time with my "real" mother. Plus, DH and I had both just lost our jobs, we were relocating to a new city, and were in the process of planning our wedding (which, admittedly, took about 3 minutes, but it was a stressful 3 minutes). I was under a tremendous amount of stress and wasn't sure if I could handle the potential rejection if the attempt to contact my birth mother was not well received.

DH, of course, was all for me contacting my birth mother, but he kept out of it, waiting until it was the right time for me.

About 2 months ago, I was lying in bed reading, in my usual fashion, and I got this feeling. I can't explain it, I just felt that I had to write my birth mother a letter rightthenandthere. Before I lost my nerve, I jumped out of bed and typed off a letter. The content of the letter explained who I was, who I thought she was in relation to me, and that I turned out okay--I've had a really good life, I was raised by great parents, and I wanted her to know that I was very grateful that she carried me and gave me life, when she could just as easily have terminated the pregnancy.

I knew that if I didn't hear from my birth mother, I would be okay with it. From what spotty details I had, the circumstances regarding my birth were very difficult, and she might not have wanted to have anything to do with me. But, for my peace of mind, I had to let her know I was okay.

I mailed the letter the very next day, and waited. Again.

This is beginning to be a really long post, so I'll continue it in another one....later.....
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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