Name: bdogg_mcgee

From: Big D, Texas, United States

About me: The observations and musings of a transplanted Houstonian, married to the love of my life and living on the plains of North Texas.

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10.27.2007,10/27/2007 09:37:00 PM
True Confessions: Going Nuts, part I
I think there are times in every person's life when they tend to go a little crazy. Some have more crazy times than others, but in each and every one of us, there's a nutter just waiting to escape.

Take me, for instance. I'd like to share with you a time in my life when I went completely off my rocker, and did something that is totally outside my personality - the situation that led to this little breakdown was the #1 reason I ended up on anti-depressants.


In order to truly tell this story, however, I am going to have to give you a bit (well, maybe a lot) of background info. Some of it is painful for me to relive, but, for the sake of getting it all out in the open, well, I'm gonna do it.

Most of you know that I was engaged once before, nearly ten years ago. (Good God, has it really been that long?) For the sake of the story, I'm going to call him Jim.

I loved Jim almost to the point of obsession. He was the be all and end all of my existence (oh, to be 21 again!) I loved him with that kind of crazy, all-consuming love that only a very young person can get away with, especially since he was my first real, non-teenage relationship. We dated for about seven months before deciding to get married, and on Christmas Day 1998 I was given a ring. I won't go into details about how I knew, from the start, that something didn't feel right. I mean, I LOVED him! We had signed a year lease on an apartment together! I quashed any doubts I had in my head and happily accepted his proposal. (which is another story entirely--I wouldn't call it a proposal, per se...)

Before we moved in together, I asked Jim if he would please not give an ex-girlfriend of his, "Jenna," our contact information. They'd dated about six months before we got together, until she decided to go back with her ex-boyfriend. I always got this weird vibe from her, you know? When Jim and I would go dancing, she was almost always at the same club, so invariably our paths would cross. I tried to be cool about it, but it always bothered me. When he told Jenna that he and I were getting married, she told him, "I'll always think of you as the one who got away."

(See where this is going?)

He promised to not give her our contact information, so imagine my surprise, a couple of months later, when a card arrived from none other than Jenna. Okay, I thought. Once again, I tried to be the cool fiancee, and not be jealous, but inside, I was extremely hurt.

One day, I looked at his e-mail. I just had this feeling, you know? I know, it was snooping, but he DID give me his password, so I felt completely justified. Guess what I found?

E-mails. Several, in fact, from Jenna, lamenting about her boyfriend moving overseas and how she wanted to be a wild woman and what a great time she had with him at the club over the weekend.

Reading that, my heart plummeted. Apparently, while I was on a school-related trip, Jim went to Houston and ended up at the club with Jenna. When I confronted him about it, he said that she was there, but nothing happened - "we talked about you the whole time." Uh huh.

This went on for a few months. Despite repeated assurances that he was not cheating on me, I still couldn't shake the fact that something was going on. Every time I pleaded with him to stop seeing her, he would reply, "She really needs a friend right now." (God, was I gullible...)

All of this doubt was causing me to pull away from him, and I was (and still am) really bad at communicating my feelings, but one night we talked and decided that maybe we should hold off on the whole engagement thing. It was pretty tense for a while afterwards, but I thought everything was going better between us. That was, until I came home from work late one Friday night (Jim had gone to Houston to the club again,) and discovered that both my ring and a box of condoms was gone.

Of course, I went ballistic, cried myself to the point of throwing up, and spent the night sleepless in bed, until he rolled in at 5 am telling me how much he loved me--that he'd had an "epiphany." Yeah, right. Of course, I wanted to believe that he was being faithful to me, but looking back on it now, I see the red flags EVERYWHERE.

And so it went. We'd get mad at each other, "break up," and Jim would call Jenna to talk about his "feelings." Then, we'd get back together. Finally, though, I realized I'd had enough. I moved out at Christmas break, but we hadn't broken up yet. Our phone number was transferred to my new place, and one night I came home to the phone ringing and about 4 voicemails from Jenna, asking Jim why he wasn't calling her back. She was acting all innocently, but she new perfectly well that she was calling me, for after her fifth call, I immediately called her back and she didn't pick up. Grr. As you can surmise, it went downhill from there.

And now I'm going to stop here for today, because it's going to be a long story. Tune in next time for part 2 of this gripping installment!
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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10.21.2007,10/21/2007 05:53:00 PM
Weight Loss Update
I realized earlier today that I haven't been updating everyone as regularly as I should about my Weight Watchers progress. As if you are all dying to know..... :)

So, Poppy's visit last week triggered a week of what I like to call "food debauchery," but all in all, my weight didn't seem to go up, which was good. So far, I've lost a total of 29 lbs. It seems completely crazy to me that I've lost that much weight. Twenty-nine pounds! I've gone down a size in everything, and things that I haven't been able to wear in three years suddenly fit now. What's even more amazing to me is the fact that my boobs are a lot smaller, too. I've gone down two cup sizes, and can finally wear cute bras in colors in other than white, black, or ivory.

I have had a little bit of help with my weight loss besides Weight Watchers, though. For the past three months, I've been on birth control pills again. Because of the havoc that PCOS wreaked on my body - the weight gain, mood swings, acne, high blood pressure, you all remember me talking about that - DH and I decided that it was more important for me to try to reach a healthy weight than to try to get pregnant right now.

And, since I've been back on the Pill, I have seen some dramatic changes. Not only has my skin cleared up considerably, the weight just seems to come off so much easier than before. Funny, huh, how most people gain weight when they're on the Pill, but I lose weight.....

So, for the moment, trying for a little McGee is on hold. Who knows, maybe once I reach my goal weight, I'll get pregnant right away. But, in the event that it doesn't happen, we're okay with that too.
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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10.17.2007,10/17/2007 07:11:00 AM
Note to Self:
If you don't want to be peeing all night, in the future, do not take dandelion root before you go to bed.

That's all.
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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10.16.2007,10/16/2007 07:50:00 PM
Weekend Hijinks
So, Poppy left early on Sunday morning, which was interesting. The night before, she and I went to Central Market to buy steaks and all the fixin's for that, including a really good bottle of wine, when I got the bright idea to make lemon drop martinis. Some really yummy steak, a glass of wine, and two lemon drop martinis later, Poppy and I were on our laptops at the kitchen table (yeah, we're so cool, aren't we?) drunkenly trading music. We stumbled off to bed around midnight, and I set my alarm for 4 am in order to give myself enough time to get around before we had to leave for the airport at 4:45 am. (Damn you, Priceline!)

And of course, since I had to be up at a certain time, I kept waking up at all hours, thinking that I might have missed the alarm, and omg, Poppy was going to miss her flight, and boy would that suck (not for me, b/c I'd have her here all the time if it was up to me!) but the clock inched by - 1 am, 2:15 am, etc.

Finally, 4 am rolled around, and I stumbled out of bed. My balance was so poor that I was convinced I was still drunk, and was paranoid that I was going to get stopped on my way to the airport and get arrested. Fortunately, though, it was just the fact that it was FOUR IN THE MORNING.

We left on time, and after getting Poppy to the airport with no problems, I was almost out to the freeway when DING! My gas light went off. It was nearly 6 am at this point, and I really didn't want to stop and get gas, but I knew that I had to, otherwise I'd be stranded. So I pulled off the freeway and put some gas in the tank, proceeded home, and ended up sleeping nearly the entire day.

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend. We enjoyed our time at the Arboretum, and had tons of fun shopping on Saturday (we took this at the mall - I don't know what our deal was with flipping the bird) until we were tired of walking around and trying on clothes, then we went to Central Market, and the rest I already told you.

Fun stuff!
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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10.12.2007,10/12/2007 08:57:00 AM
Finally!! (An Update)

After at least six months of waiting and planning, Poppy is finally here in Texas! She arrived last night, and after some great Tex-Mex and a trip to Target, we came back to the house and fell asleep around 11:30. Or, rather, I fell asleep around 11:30, then was woken up with a yowl about an hour later - BlackJack, who is extremely territorial, attacked Poppy while she was going out to the bathroom. Grrrrr.

Other than that, everything's going great! Today we are going to have lunch at Neiman Marcus and visit Southfork Ranch and the Dallas Arboretum (with a stopoff at Sprinkles Cupcakes!) and tomorrow we'll play it by ear. Shopping, maybe? Or State Fair?

Pics are here!!!. So far this has been the best weekend EVER!!!!!!!!
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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