Name: bdogg_mcgee

From: Big D, Texas, United States

About me: The observations and musings of a transplanted Houstonian, married to the love of my life and living on the plains of North Texas.

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11.17.2007,11/17/2007 09:59:00 PM
True Confessions - Going Nuts, the Conclusion
Wow, I didn't mean to let this go as long as it has. With the tradeshow and work being extremely busy, mostly all I want to do when it's time to go home is sit on the couch and watch TV.

But here I am, ready to finish my tale.

Okay, so in our last installment, I had confronted Jim with an ultimatum: Break up with Jenna, or never speak to me again. When I said this to him, you know what he told me? He said, "I can't break up with her now, we are going on a trip to Toronto next weekend."

He gave up the so-called "love of his life" for a trip to Toronto! When I heard that I said, "Okay, fine," but I was hurting so badly. He said, "I don't want it to end this way," and I said to him, "Then break up with her now." He wasn't going to do it, though, so I hung up the phone and bawled my eyes out the rest of the evening.

Time went on, though. I dated, but for the most part stayed single, mainly because I just couldn't seem to get over Jim. (WHY???) About a year later I was at Crate and Barrel with my boss, Caroline, bless her dear departed soul, buying a wedding gift for one of our co-workers. She was printing off the registry list while I milled around the store, and all of a sudden I heard her call out to me.

She beckoned me to come to the computer where the registries were, and there, plain as day, was the wedding registry for Jim and Jenna. They were getting married the next month. (Caroline had been around for the whole debacle the year previously, and, devious woman that she was, decided to do a search for Jim's name.)

Looking at that list, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I truly felt like something snapped inside of me. I knew that he would probably end up marrying her, but to see it staring me in the face.....I literally wanted to crawl into a ball and die. You know, I think I would have been okay if he'd married anyone else but her, simply because she knew exactly what she was doing when she set out to play the "I need a friend" card. I know in my heart that he and I couldn't have worked out in the end, but her presence contributed to our demise. Not that he was innocent by any means, either....

In the car, Caroline kept saying to me, "You have to get back at him. What can we do?" I half-listened to her brainstorm, and all of a sudden she goes, "I GOT IT."

Her plan, which I went along with, involved saving up her dog's poo, which was put into a box, wrapped up in expensive wedding wrapping paper, and mailed to the happy couple.

Yep. You read that right. I sent my ex-fiance and his soon-to-be wife a box of dog poo.

I wondered for several weeks whether they'd gotten it or not, and got my answer about three weeks later when I ran into a mutual friend of ours at a movie theater. We chit-chatted for a bit, and then he said to me, "Jim and Jenna want to say thank you for their gift."


I denied it like mad (even though I probably wasn't fooling anyone,) and then asked him, "Is Jim happy?" to which he scoffed, "I don't know!" and then in a low voice he told me, "She's weird...."

And that was that. I never heard anything else about it. A month later I heard from a girlfriend that Jenna "accidentally" (my take on it) got pregnant soon after they were married, and I went on antidepressants.

And since I can't let anything alone, about 2 months before I met DH, in a fit of weakness, I e-mailed Jim. The next day I got a phone call from him, saying, "Jenna read your e-mail, and I have to figure out what I'm going to tell her. She didn't know you visited me in Austin two years ago." I called him back, and said, "She read my e-mail?"

And that's when I found out that, somehow, she'd been going into my personal e-mail account and had been reading my e-mail for at least the past two years. The only thing I can figure is that my password must have been saved on Jim's computer, and she used it to check up on whether or not he and I were in contact. We talked for a while, I asked what gender their baby was (Jenna hadn't given birth yet,) and that was the last time I heard from him.

Then I met DH, and finally found out what a real, healthy relationship was all about. We have our ups and downs, just like any married couple, but it consists of mostly ups, and not too many downs. I know that if he and I faced the situation that I encountered when I was with Jim, he would immediately stop what was going on if I asked, instead of saying, "She needs a friend."

Do I regret sending Jim and Jenna that special wedding gift? Not really. Yes, I know it was immature, but I can't say I feel too badly about it, even after all these years. Although, I can look back on the time Jim and I spent together and recognize that while we had some really good times, when all was said and done, he and I were not well-suited for one another. He needed a woman who would dominate him and tell him what to do, and I was not that woman. I do hope, though, that he found happiness, because he so desperately needed sunshine in his life.
I hope you enjoyed my tale, and don't judge me too harshly for what I did. I'm only human, after all! :)
posted by bdogg_mcgee
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